Dating is never easy for a parent juggling work, life, parenting and all the other things thrown in when you’re doing it alone. There’s so many things to work out, and every situation is so different. Trying to seek out love and companionship can feel next to impossible.
To make matters more complicated, there is a wealth of information out there about how to and when to, but few successful testimonials. In reality, there are many single people out there who are happy to date a single parent. The key to jumping into the dating scene is flexibility, honesty and some creative thinking. Here are a few things to keep in mind when dating with kids:
The Big Decision
Some people might have you believe you should share little to nothing about your kids when you’ve landed a date. See if it goes well, then share. Keep the kid chat to a minimum.
However, if you are a single parent, you more than likely are approaching dating with more serious intentions than ever before. Your kids will always be on your mind and at the top of your priority list. As such, you’ll be looking for someone who could potentially do the same – find a place in their heart for all of you.
Yes, give that person a chance to really get to know you at first. But don’t be afraid to open up and let them have a peak at what is most important to you and let them see the “real” you. If that person really cares about you, they will care about all of you – the whole package.
Don’t Let Guilt Get in the Way
Guilt can play a huge factor for single parents hoping to date again. In addition to your own concerns and questions, people can be incredibly judgemental. But it’s important you kick the guilt and do it anyway. Your mental health, well-being and happiness are also important.
If you are worried about your kids’ reaction, use that initial time of taking it slow to prepare your kids to meet the person you feel is permanent enough to arrange an introduction. You will likely be pleasantly surprised at your kid’s reaction. You are everything to your kids, and your happiness is paramount to theirs.
Create Unique Date Opportunities
Of course, one of the hardest parts of being a single parent and dating is finding the time to date. Most traditional dinner dates simply won’t work. While your kids are at school, try meeting up for lunch or coffee. If you have friends and family willing to help, take advantage and enjoy an afternoon date. Meet up at your kid’s practice, get your date involved in your busy, sports-filled weekend.
Dating is nevery easy, but your family deserves to have a happy, appreciated parent. If you feel you are ready to date again, just be patient and keep trying. Get creative with your time, and be open and honest about your life, hopes and dreams. The right person, who will love all of you and everything that means, will walk into your life when the time is right.
Blair Thomas has been a music producer, bouncer, screenwriter and for over a decade has been the proud Co-Founder of eMerchantBroker, the highest rated high risk merchant account processor and online dating merchant account in the country. He has climbed in the Himalayas, survived a hurricane, and lived on a gold mine in the Yukon. He currently calls Thailand his home with a lifetime collection of his favorite books.